Taking a Break

I realized this morning that I needed a break after I had taken a pregnancy test for the second time this week and it came up negative (just like the first one).  When this happens I don’t feel calm and think “next month we’ll try again” like a normal person, I feel devastated and rejected, I cry my eyes out and go back to sleep. So, I decided that I was being completely unbalanced and needed to not think about getting pregnant for a while.  My husband said that he thinks it’s a good idea and we decided to wait to try again in a few months.

So, what will I do with the next few months?  Not like this will free up time, but it will free my mind. Well, I am thinking that I need to clean out my house of all the things that I don’t ever use, get rid of things that I had started but didn’t finish and focus more on my relationship with my hubby.  I think doing this will lift the weight off of me that may be holding me back from opening myself up to pregnancy. I feel like maybe I have put too much pressure on myself and it is more of a job than something that should be pleasurable, relaxing and fun.

So, no more charting, checking cervical fluid and counting the days, I am just not going to think about it. I think using the rest of this year cleaning out my house and my mind will get me ready for a whole new year.

I feel better already:)